"Come here my dear," he said to me, "Let me tell you the things you do not want to know."
His jack o' lantern grin gave me chills, the one tooth rocking in his gums like a swing-set on a hot summer day.
"You'll never be rich, fame will not be yours, and you'll find no love in in your life," came from his mouth, whistling through his teeth on the letters with f's.
I stood for a minute, pondering the truths behind this.
"How can you be so sure?" I finally asked.
He stood slowly, his age and gravity both attempting to keep him on the ground. "Because I'm God," he exclaimed.
I laughed as I walked away. Crazy stupid bum, what does he know?